Quote:
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Today will be different because I have a choice today.
A choice to drink or not drink.
A choice to use or not use.
AA/NA
Has given me a a choice
There once was a time when I went to sleep I was thinking of the morning when I could smoke the left handed lucky I had rolled for the trip to the bathroom in the morning.
I did not like to drink in the morning but I have had Whitecastles and Beer for breakfast before.
I liked to get a little high in the morning and drink at night.
I look back and wonder in amazement that I survived
my addiction.
I have a choice today that is why it will be different
Using was not an option. By the time I came to the doors of recovery, it was do or die. I realized that I had a lot of choices to make, because choices could lead me back to using again. I used pills to get off of alcohol, and that didn't work, in the end I was using both.
In recovery, I found the same soul sickness when I used my computer, food, and busy, to take me out of myself and helped me to stuff my feelings. I was heading for a relapse. I had to apply the 12 Steps to ALL areas of my life.
As it says in the quote, today I am not surviving, I am living. That is why I can't allow my pain to rule my life. I have to keep on doing, one day at a time.
Mender1
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Drinking is still not an option. It is nice to see words that don't grow old that still hold true in today.
Today, I had pain that hit the top of the chart twice, really scared me. New pain, unusual pain, and when I stopped, because I am given that moment to pause and think, it is because I am coming off the medication the doctor gave me and my body is doing weird things. I have to recognize this and not go into a panic mode and immediately reach for a pill bottle, but reach for a crystal and go into prayer mode.
My Fibromyalgia has been triggered badly by the stress in my life and a lot has been happening, the pain is much worse than usual, but thanks to this program, I don't have to pick up. I might not always be able to be able to sit at the computer, but I know I don't have to go back to where I came from.
Today I had major healing, I have faith in the program and I have faith in the healing power of my God.
