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It has been said in AA tat we are interested only in alcoholism. That is not true. We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive. But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by first hand contact knows that no true alkie ever stops drinking permanently without undergoing a profound personality change.
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We thought "conditions" drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn't do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.
1. Letter, 1940
2. Twelve and Twelve, p. 48
From "As Bill Sees It"
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Can identify with this. I could stop, but couldn't stay stopped. If I stopped alcohol, I substituted other things, like food, pills, work, and busy as a whole, something to take me out of the moment so I didn't have to feel, be accountable, or acknowledge what was going on in my life.