Today's Gift for Families...for July 2014
 

One thing I learned was that the Creator, our God, made the heavens and the earth, along with the animals, insects, and marine life before He created Man.

Instead of thinking I was the last and not important, I had to look at appreciate what Nature had to tell and give to me. If God made them, He must value them just as much as He Loves and Cares for me.

If I keeping seeing an animal, insect, or water creatures, I go on my computer and do a search "What are the healing properties of" and then I ask myself what do I have to learn from this. If something continues to be placed in front of me, it is something I need to address.

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-totems.html

For me it was looking into my china cabinet and finding a figurine of an owl that came from my aunt who is deceased. I got the thought to bring it out and put it beside my computer.

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/anima...olism-owl.html

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/image...lSymbolism.jpg

Love the quote. Something I had to make room for in my own space, especially when I was in a relationship or with my son when he is around.

I have the freedom to be me. I am free from the bondage of my dis-ease. I wasn`t aware that I was codependent, and that it was an addiction. I read the preface to the Melody Beattie book, `Codependent No More` and ran to the nearest Al-Anon meeting. There was no codependent meeting in my area. Living my life through others, especially family, made me as sick as my As.

Service always helped me. Service outside my group when I was under 2 years sober. Right from the beginning, I did service in my group and community.

It gave me purpose and direction in my life.

Like the sound of the word `kukaro` and it sounds like something that will test the tides of time. It is okay to just be, I don`t always have to be doing.

A lot would depend on where I hung out and who I was with as to whether I could find the true meaning of the word.

It reminds me of the word `kook` which my drunken father called me when I tried to get him out of his chair and into his bed so he wouldn`t set the house on fire around my son and myself. I would be in my bed and an hour later he was back up getting a drink. There was no rest, and many days I went to work with very little sleep. I had to drive 18 miles to and from work. It eventally got me fired from my job. It was his fault and I carried a resentment with no thought that I had been drinking too. It was always about that other person. Some of that timeless went to far back and leaves an unhappy memory. Very glad I don`t have to go there in today.

That I needed an attitude adjustment. I was giving up and not caring what happens to me. Seemed like there was so much wrong, including my thinking, that there wasn`t much of me visible and it was all about what is going to happen next. Needed to affirm my faith and trust, and know that my God is in charge. If He brings me to it, He will see me through it, no matter what it is.

I was sharing with my son on the phone yesterday and told him what was happening, and he said, ``...and then there is me. `` I said, `There is always you.` I love him. I just don`t like his choices. I am powerless over him and his actions and all I can do is pray and leave him in HIS God`s Hands.

Recovery always begins with me. If I can't forgive myself how can I truly and honestly forgive someone else.

Many times words are said and taken personal when they are not meant to be. That doesn't mean I can't ask for forgiveness for hurting the other person, even if I feel justified. A really tuffy for me, because I have a firm belief in self expression, but it is not good if it is done at the expense of another.

It is best to agree to disagree.

Body language can speak volumes. A smile speaks all languages. A hand that is offered, a door that is held open, an ear that listens, and the list goes on and on.

Can`t enjoy what you don`t have time for.

A good question! Learned in recovery it was best to pray and ask that THEIR God give them what that someone needed , when it was good for them, my God's Will, not mine.

When I do for someone else, I can be playing God with their life.

If we enable and care take, they are unable to help themselves and they become codependent. A caretaker can be acting out in their own disease. They need someone to care for, to fix, and a distraction which helps them to not look at themselves. They want a leaner, because they want to lean too.

Well my isn't very old, didn't wake up until 4:30 p.m. My feelings today were resentment that I was told that I can't walk downtown and back, and I was a good girl and took the bus. My trips are only to be 2 or 3 a week.

I had a lot of gratitude and love when I met up with my friend and had a visit with her.

Felt relief when my son called to say he wasn`t coming by after work.

Felt motivated to call the eye doctor (having trouble seeing to read) and my foot specialist. I cancelled the chiropractor`s appointment and re-booked it for Friday.

Felt blessed to have quiet time with my God.

Felt grateful for the good weather about 70 deg. F.

Feel calm and peaceful when I listen to music. When I am reading and posting, I like the music without the words. When I need to hear the words, I am guided to jazz or old classic country.

Feel sad that my son chooses to stay in his addiction.

Most of all, I am grateful that I can feel.

What I am in today, is a person living in the moment, trying to be the best `me`I can be in today.

A bowed head always makes the task a little easier.

Love the title, it is hard to look at how much I missed and lost to active addiction. I am surprised I still have the little figurine of a little girl and her dog. I think it represented my past and losing my dog because he started running after cars and attacked a man on a bicycle. I got it for perfect attendance at Sunday School.

The thing I treasure is all the butterflies I have been given at anniversaries and for just because presents. They came in many forms put represented the change in me. My one sponsor said, `When you came into recovery, you were wrapped into a cocoon, and you have grown into a beautiful butterfly. My favourite is a monarch butterfly made with feathers.

The best thing I can do for my recovery is to look at myself instead of focusing on others. Remember the slogan, `Live and Let Live,` I can`t take a proper inventory and have an understanding of myself if I keep saying, `I am not as bad as they are.`

I am responsible for my own happiness, happiness comes from within.

One thing that makes me happy today is the fact that I can choose to turn my music on, have a choice as to what music I listen to, and I can choose not to have the music or the TV on.

Prior to recovery, I had to fill that space. I didn't realize it was a void within me that had the hunger, and it had to be filled with something. I could hide and shut down if I had something to divert me or help me shut down and shut off. When you do that, you shut off the good and the not so good feelings, and when that happened, there was no happiness.

Unfortunately, not feeling too much joy n the moment as I am in a lot of pain. The nice thing is that when I come on line and share on the site, it helps me to get out of the pain.

It is a joy for me to be able to come and share each day.

If you name it, in today, I would probably have to claim it or give it some deep thought!

For me, love and compassion. As the Bible says, "Do onto others as you would have them do unto you."

I was told that trust had to be earned. I trusted until that person proved me wrong and did something to break my trust. In order for me to trust them again, they had to show me that they were trust worthy. I try in today to not do what I did in the past. I don't let one person's actions be the barometer which I applied to all people. Every one is a person onto themselves, and I try not to put everyone under the same umbrella.

It shows me that I need my God to lead and guide me through the obstacles.

Quite often an obstacle is rooted in the past and I need to go deeper to find a solution. I need to heal and look how I can learn from my past by seeing what not to do! ;)

So much of recovery is grief work, and obstacles are something we need to acknowledge, process and let go of. Any change is a grieving process.

http://www.childhoodbraintumor.org/i...stics-of-grief

Monday, July 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Dependency (on another human being) is the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another.
—M. Scott Peck

No matter what we may think, overdependence on another can be very unloving because it drains others of any chance for personal growth. Those of us who have been dependent on other people are so busy acquiring love that we ourselves have no energy left to truly give love. It's as if we're starving and scrambling for every little bit of love we can find, with no thought to offering it to others. No wonder they often quickly get tired of us.

We can't force or expect others to do things with us, talk to us, or love us. The way to be surely loved is to be worthy of it. We can work at being worthy by exercising our freedom to feel and do things without others' permission, and to allow them the same opportunity.

What can I do on my own today?

Over the years, I have found myself depending too much on my son. I had to plan alternative plans, and call different services that were available, instead of expecting him to do for me.

I had Helping Hands for 8 years. He said, "Don't worry mum, I'll do it for you. As his disease grew, it became a "I'll do it when I feel like it." I don't like the lack of good cleaning practices, so don't want to call them again, but I need to look for an alternative. I am hoping with the physio, I will be able to do more myself.

Over the years, I had to give myself permission to go out for a walk on a sunny day, just because I felt like it. I had to give myself permission to lay down for a nap. I had to learn to listen to my body and look at my motive and intent. Was it good for me or was it a cop out, the way it was when I was in active addiction.

As the Reader`s Digest has been saying for years, `Laughter is the best medicine.`

It does heal, especially when we can laugh at our own antics.

We can see, we are given freedom of choice as to whether we want to be a part of it, set boundaries, and/or detach.

Freedom is another favourite and why I kept coming back. I wanted to be free from my addiction. I wanted to be free to be me.

Addiction blocked my path to my God, I couldn't see Him, all I could see and think of was that next fix. This is not a quick fix program, it is a living program.

As they say in recovery, life doesn't get better, I do!

Friday, July 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

He wanted to hold onto his fury, to guard it like a treasure. He would not let it be stolen from him . ... But already, he felt it slipping, softened by Ben's compassionate touch.
—Joe Johnston and Nilo Rodis-Jamero

The glassblower is an artist who takes broken glass and melts it in a very hot furnace. Then the glassblower blows through a long tube and creates objects such as cups and plates and pieces of art.

The sharp edges of our anger are like pieces of broken glass. We all have things in our lives that anger us - it is only human to bump into our sharp edges. One edge might be crabby, another silent and withdrawn, and still another yelling and screaming.

The heat of love and compassion can melt our anger. This may take the form of sympathy for ourselves, or for the people we love. More often, it is the compassion of those around us that helps melt our anger. Sometimes saying I'm sorry is a good way to melt anger and find the love underneath it.

What beauty can I create with my anger today?

When I got angry prior to recovery, it was an ugly thing to see or being the recipient. In today, I can express myself in a healthy, and the hissy fits are few and far between. As they say in the rooms of recovery, when I get angry, I need to focus on myself instead of the person.

In early recovery I saw my friend's ex-husband who abuse her and her son. I stood at the light totally paralyzed by my rage. I had gone out to get pop and chips, and went home and asked my guests to leave. I wasn't able to speak about it, and it wasn't my story to tell. I had to process. What a difference, one day can make. I stayed sober and didn't have to use, now that is something beautiful.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Isn't it great life is open-ended!
—Brigitte Frase

Elizabeth Lawton, known as "Grandma Layton," is an American artist who never drew a picture until she was sixty-eight years old. She spent all the years before that time trying to cope with depression. She had gone through therapy, medications, and shock treatment and continued to be severely depressed. But then she signed up for an art class and the act of drawing cured her depression. She continues to make fabulous pictures.

What does she think about the critical acclaim her artwork has received? She says she wants others to know about her art so it may give hope to those who have also "suffered from feelings."

Many of us have suffered from feelings. We must remember that we can each turn to our creativity - at any age - as a source for our well-being. All we need to do is have faith in the potential goodness within ourselves and those we love.

What creative activity can I look to for comfort today?

The Bible says a child will lead them. I know that a newcomer teaches me that it is not any better out there and I have no desire to go and do research for myself.

The fact that I am older than dirt and 23 years is a long time ago, it is good to listen to see if I forgot anything. I use to say that I have for gotten more than you will ever know. That was and is major ego. Needed an attitude adjustment on that one. I have met people with 3-5 years clean and sober who work a better program than many who have over 20 years of recovery. So many forget where they come from and they sit in the same place and do not grow. They have a closed mind and not open to new awareness and experiences.

This is difficult for me, always had a problem with authority. I want to say, `Who died and made you God!` I can understand group and company rules, but that isn`t about imposing your will on another. We are all individuals and are given freedom of choice. The best is to agree to disagree.

One by talking to them and sharing your own experience, strength, and hope. Two, pray with them. We are powerless over people, places, and things. Three, tell them to listen to their body. Suggest healthy choices that will make them whole, instead of fragmented and frustrated, help them to find emotional sobriety (soundness of mind).

Have hope for myself, what I keep losing hope that my son will choose to live. When he has a health issue, he refuses to go and see about it and says, I don't care. So I am an addict and an alcoholic, who cares, big deal!

My hope is in prayer. I have to remember to put it before my negative thoughts.

Well I can get honest. I use to say, "Consider the source!" My sponsor said that I needed an attitude adjustment.

I firmly believe that everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether it differs with mine or not.

I try to see if I can see the walk behind the talk. Saying and doing are two different things.

I use to go to a lot of meetings and did a lot of service, but as my body started deteriorating, my mind got forgetful, and my sleeping disorder changed my days into nights or I didn't sleep at all, I had to find a spiritual solution. Sites like this were the solution for me.

That doesn't mean I stopped going to meetings, I go when I feel like I really NEED to go, a using dream or an anniversary are good times to go. I always try to reach out to others and my sponsor.

I had hopes of getting out to meetings this summer, but couldn't go to far with both my feet bound up. That sounds like an excuse, but I go where I am lead. I probably talk more recovery on the internet than most people do who go to meetings. I just happens that my fingers do the talking in today.