January 16

Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.

~William Morris

When our homes and other environments in which we spend time reflect our sense of beauty and harmony, we feel pleasure and peacefulness. Similarly, when our actions and our connections with others embody our best sense of ourselves, our day is a source of satisfaction and serenity.

Just as we can eliminate clothes we no longer wear from our closets and objects from our homes that no longer reflect who we are, we can let go of behaviors and attitudes that no longer serve the needs of our spirit. Housecleaning, whether literal or figurative, comes from a state of mind that is willing to let go. The past is past. We can make room for the ways that we are healing, growing, and changing.

Instead of dreading to let go of what is no longer beautiful, we can feel exhilaration. We are clearing a space for the unexpected.

Today, I let go of the past and make room for new and unexpected beauty in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day: Daily Meditations for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender People*

Jamuary 17

I have a dream!

~Martin Luther King Jr.

During our addiction, maybe we dreamed of joy and laughter with our family—only to find tears and anger. Maybe we dreamed of respect at our job—only to be fired. Our dreams began to feel like burdens. We had lost hope.

With recovery, the hope starts to return. We start to trust ourselves again. We start to trust others again. We start to trust in our Higher Power. Over time, we even dare to dream again. In our dreams, we are loving people. We have something to offer others. We are not scared. This is a sign that hope is returning. We fall in love again with the world, our Higher Power, and ourselves.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank You for giving back my future. Thank You for giving back my dreams.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll tell my dreams to a friend. Do my future dreams include improving myself through the program?

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

January 18

Perfectionism

Recovery from codependency is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems, and facing tough issues.

Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows this process; it puts us in a guilty and anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive; it makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth.

People are human and vulnerable, and that is wonderful. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in that codependent state of moral superiority. Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.

We can let go of both ideas.

We do not need to go to the other extreme, tolerating anything people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, responsible behavior from ourselves. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit. And when we stop expecting others to be perfect, we may discover that they’re doing much better than we thought. When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, we’ll discover the beauty in ourselves.

Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am. I will strive for that balance between expecting too much and expecting too little from others and myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

January 19

Through our own recovered innocence, we discern the innocence of our neighbors.

~Henry David Thoreau

From time to time, we get tired of hearing the word “community.” Perhaps the word itself has been overused to the point of meaninglessness. Or perhaps deep inside we fear that the community will rob us of our individuality. But that just isn’t so. Both a community and a crowd are made up of individuals. The difference is in the way the individuals react to one another.

A mob is mindless—it doesn’t matter who its members are. A community, on the other hand, is authentic because it’s made up of separate, distinct people. Without the diverse relationships within the group, a would-be community could never get off the ground.

Within the growing community of adult children, all members are unique, valued, and accepted “as is.” We are one because we are many.

I am comforted by seeing the good within us all, because that means I am finding more worthwhile qualities within myself.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

January 20

I was as hollow and empty as the spaces between the stars.

~Raymond Chandler

As our illness progressed, we became empty and hollow. We humans need real connections with other people, our Higher Power, our values, and ourselves. Our illness leads us to betray all of these connections. Addiction gives us an illusion of connection as long as we stay in the trance. When the trance ends, the emptiness appears, and we get scared and run back to the high. The end result of addiction is total aloneness, total emptiness. Our addiction pushes away the things that feed our hearts and souls.

Recovery asks that we open up our hearts and souls to be filled again. But to do this, we must face the emptiness of our addiction and then ask for help. We need to ask others and our Higher Power to help and teach us how to be humans instead of addicts.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be open to the teachings, tasks, and gifts of recovery. Fill me with your presence.
Today's Action

Today I will make a list of ways that my drinking or drugging emptied my heart and soul. I will share my list with my sponsor or another recovery friend.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

January 21

Dedication

We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.

~Anonymous

The best thing for us to do in our Twelve Step program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.

We can’t think for others, and they can’t think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, “Take what you need and leave the rest.”

As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won’t be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people’s ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can’t be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.

Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery?

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

January 22

Judge people by their questions rather than by their answers.

~Voltaire

Addicts tend to be talkative people. For some of us, it may be that we’ve spent too long alone and are dying for company. At other times, we may have things to hide and we talk to cover up. Talking nonstop is one good way to avoid asking the hard questions. It can also keep us from really listening and providing thoughtful answers. We all need to talk, but we also need to take time to be silent. In silence we can assess ourselves and our position in the world, and examine the things we want and need to know.

Our programs give us the opportunity to sit and be quiet with ourselves and listen to others. When someone is explaining a Step or telling their story, we can learn simply by listening and formulating the questions we need to ask during the discussion. A good question is worth a thousand thoughtless words.

I will take time this week to be silent and think about what I’ve learned about myself and the people around me. This will enhance my recovery and service to others.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction*

January 23

I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience, most of them are trash.

~Sigmund Freud

The father of psychoanalysis sheds more light on himself, in the above comment, than he does on his fellow human beings. God doesn’t make trash, but coming from someone who spent his life probing the human psyche to find out why people do bad things, Freud’s comment may be understandable. He contributed much to understanding the workings of the human psyche, but little to the understanding of our worthiness.

Our program’s approach to recovery from illness stresses the good. We take a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, but we don’t dwell on our mistakes. We ask forgiveness, make amends, and put our mistakes behind us. Then we look for and find the expression of God in each other.

I put my mistakes behind me and ask God to bring out the good.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

January 24

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.

~Hebrews 13:2

Recovery is a very democratic thing. No matter how far down a man has fallen, no matter how bad his life choices have been or how much he has given up for his addiction and codependency, he deserves our basic human respect. We all are created in the image of God. There is something of God within everyone.

When we go to our meetings, we meet many kinds of people. Some of them we have more in common with than others. Some of them we will feel closer to than others. But we are all creatures of the universe, and we are all equally loved by God. We may feel critical of someone’s behavior, but ultimately we are called to respect everyone as fellow human beings seeking a path through life.

Today, I accept the love of God and pledge to show respect to everyone I meet.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

January 25

It seems to me that I have always been waiting for something better—sometimes to see the best I had snatched from me.

~Dorothy Reed Mendenhall

Gratitude for what is prepares us for the blessings just around the corner. What is so necessary to understand is that our wait for what's around the corner closes our eyes to the joys of the present moment.

We have only the 24 hours ahead of us. In fact, all we can be certain of having is the moment we are presently experiencing. And it is a gift to be enjoyed. There is no better gift just right for us than this moment, at this time.

We can, each of us, look back on former days, realizing that we learned too late the value of a friend or an experience. Both are now gone. With practice and a commitment to ourselves, we can learn to reap the benefits of today, hour by hour. When we detach from the present and wait for tomorrow, or next week, or look to next year, we are stunting our spiritual growth. Life can only bless us now, one breath at a time.

I can live in the present if I choose to. Gentle reminders are often necessary, however. I will step into my life, today. It can become a habit—one I will never want to break.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning: Daily meditations for Women*

January 26

AA Thought for the Day

As I look back over my drinking career, have I learned that you take out of life what you put into it? When I put drinking into my life, did I take out a lot of bad things? Time in the hospital with the DTs? Jail sentences for drunken driving? Loss of job? Loss of home and family? When I put drinking into my life, was almost everything I took out bad?
Meditation for the Day

I should strive for a friendliness and helpfulness that may affect all who come near to me. I should try to see something to love in them. I should welcome them, bestow little courtesies and understandings on them, and help them if they ask for help. I must send no one away without a word of cheer, a feeling that I really care about them. God may have put the impulse in some despairing person’s mind to come to me. I must not fail God by repulsing that person. They may not want to communicate with me unless they are sure of a warm welcome.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may warmly welcome all who come to me for help. I pray that I may make them feel that I really care.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

January 27

I measure every grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes—
I wonder if it weighs like mine—
Or has an easier size.

~Emily Dickinson

How can we measure all the grief we feel, and how can we put up with it? Doesn't the Grief of Death weigh a ton or more? Doesn't it stretch out to a month, a year, or longer still? Is the Grief of Failure lighter than the Grief of Despair, but maybe longer? Isn't the Grief of Emptiness the heaviest of all?

Whether we try to ignore or make light of it, our grief, like a ton of feathers or a ton of rocks, is all the same to us. This much is sure: if we lock our grief in, it will weigh more on us and lengthen out; if we open our hearts with weeping and words, others will help carry it away.

What old sadness can I let go of by sharing it today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

January 28

It’s a simple formula: Do your best and somebody might like it.

~Dorothy Baker

Our program is a selfish program. It tells us to let go of what others think. We’re staying sober for ourselves, not for anyone else. Our body and our spirit are at stake. And we know what we need to do to stay sober. If we feel shaky about going to a party, we don’t go—no matter who gets upset. If our job makes it hard to stay sober, we get a different one—no matter who gets upset. It’s simple.

We must take good care of ourselves before we can be good to others. In doing this, we learn how to be a friend, a good parent, a good spouse. We have to care for ourselves to have good relationships. Do I believe it’s okay to be selfish when it comes to my program?
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me do what is best for my recovery, no matter what others think.
Action for the Day

I will remind myself that staying sober is simple. I don’t use substances. And I work the program.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

January 29

The universe is the primary revelation of the divine, the primary scripture, the primary focus of divine?human communion.

~Thomas Berry

In this program, we learn about being receptive. A man in search of conscious contact with a Higher Power can simply stand still and open his eyes and ears to creation. Forcing a spiritual awareness is mostly wasted effort. Learning theology doesn’t create a spiritual experience either. We only need to see and hear what is around us. This is a vast and marvelous universe, and it speaks for itself. It has always been there, and when we are ready to receive the message, we will.

It stirs our spirit to be at a meeting and hear another man describe the awakening of his spirituality. As we men become more receptive to the spiritual, we open a whole new realm in our lives.

May my growing ability to be a receptive man lead me to a deeper spiritual contact.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

January 30

Growing

We all perform on two stages: one public, one private. The public stage is what we do and say. The private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our characters and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we’re going to tell that annoying person next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice awareness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

Today I will seek to grow by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*